did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
