Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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