your thong is hanging out like whoa
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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