My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
