would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have demons in me.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
