My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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