Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
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