Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
