We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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