just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
