I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
