Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
