He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
