the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
