I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize