Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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