Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
