Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
