you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish you could order shots online.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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