I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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