my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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