I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
my poor anus
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
