Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
