herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
