so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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