I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
