this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
