All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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