i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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