remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
