Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
