I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
