the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
