i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Those nachos came to me in a dream
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
