It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
