Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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