I love how my cats smell like pot.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
