Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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