Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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