Is it normal to miss your booty call?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
