dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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