so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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