very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
