It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
