Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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