I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
