If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
