shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
