We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
