Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
