Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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